June!!
Me on my way to the basketball field for
training on Sunday.
This month will be incomplete without me mentioning some key persons who played a role in what happened this month; my friends, Daniel and Gift then Kelvin.
Daniel took me on a journey of openness, with God and with people, he opened me up to an understanding of a new kind of relationship with God.
Gift was a shoulder and a person who understood me.
Kelvin was someone who taught me on several things both directly and indirectly.
I began learning basketball this month with my friend, Gift. I should mention that I didn't think Gift and I would remain friends for a long time,I was just going with the flow however and what God said.
I was quite popular for beating myself up and this month, I did it a whole lot more, certain things didn't seem to be going well, God had given me certain things to do and I wasn't doing it, I felt terrible about it and at some point, I decided to go on a 3 days dry fast for the first time in my life and actually follow through with it but then... something happened and I couldn't go on till the last day so I did it for just 2 days and felt terrible that last day.
If I hadn't eaten however, I might not have been able to do function properly because I was immensely weak; It was that time of the month and wellll, I get really hungry that period. However, the issue here was I wasn't eating well prior to the fast and then going on the fast lateron just worsened things for me.
On that third day, I went on a prayer walk with my friends, Daniel and Gift, I was very weak and cold that day, I didn't have the energy to walk that long but I did it anyway. Funny me, in a sense, I didn't want to miss out (Now I don't mind missing out on certain things).
In RUN, an annual program is held titled Word Conference, I went for the program and was opportune to meet with one of the persons who ministered afterwards on the next day and he spoke about how he used to pay tithe of 20% however, he didn't forget to mention he was working and that God blessed his business very well due to it.
I, being the curious person I was, decided to try it out despite not being a working person and welll, it didn't end well for me, I was still depending on my family for money(which I didn't particularly fancy, depending on someone) and also owing the school of ministry I attended, I am happy to tell you it did not end well. It's not like I had a stable source of income afterall.
I was still very much interested in copywriting and thought I would be able to enroll in Andy Mukolo's personal mentorship class but there was no way I could do that, it cost so much and now, thinking back on it, I doubt I would have really been able to focus on it at that point, I was an emotional wreck and was still trying to find myself.
I was lacking in so many ways and it was so glaring, I could not even keep my devotion; talking to Jesus and reading my bible. It was terrible and I would beat myself up for it.
I was making comparisons indirectly, looking at strides certain people were making, some people were praying so powerfully and it's as though they were growing so powerfully and here I was, only talking to Jesus.
At some point, I determined that I wouldn't talk to God but instead pray to Him. He didn't allow it and would later counter my focus by questioning me on the meaning of prayer. I had the knowledge, a lot of knowledge on several things at this point, I was just feeding myself on a lot of things even though I was tired and also trying to commit myself to certain things and failure to do so effectively led to me feeling like a failure.
All through my life, I had learnt to be there for people and here I was, broken and hurting, I couldn't be there for people the way I would like but God was taking me through this season intentionally, I was so accustomed to pouring out, to giving but not to receiving and so, receiving was difficult. Opening up was difficult.
I think too often as Christians, we hide behind talking to Jesus that we lose sight of the meaning of the body of Christ, we lose sight of the fact that the new testament church were open to one another, they did not try to just have meetings or share their burdens with God alone. They shared their burdens with each other as well.
Was it an easy lesson for me? Definitely not but God was doing something, He was opening my eyes to a lot of truths.
***
I got a job offer this month out of nowhere and I was amazed, it was so unexpected, turns out someone I had written a copy for in the year 2020 was working with a guy who needed a copywriter asap and he referred me, he spoke very highly of me to this client of his and this man took his word for it and reached out to me.
It would have helped solve my money issues had I been prepared.
~ Omokhuwa.
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