Omokhuwa

My mind has been a haze recently, one with a disarray of emotions, it's like a lot is happening at once yet the same time nothing is happening, I want to move forward, I want to grow, I want to be better yet I cannot seem to find a way out of this loophole, how do I heal by destroying all that is and move forward at the same time, it almost seems impossible, how should I go about it, is there a way out? A way to figure out this mess that I seem to have put myself into. A question recurs in my mind, is it possible to heal, to deal with past hurt and trauma and still yet move on, and still yet be a better person, still yet plan and appear to have my life together, a question that has been answered by Phil Stutz, a psychiatrist in a documentary I watched, who talks about his desire in making his patients feel better after their first meeting with him by having them discover their life force, an assignment he gives them to help them feel productive, to help them feel like t...

Now it seems we have come to the end of the series detailing how my 2021 went, it is important to note that inasmuch as I mentioned some things, I didn't mention others and as a result, I can do so in subsequent writeups. At some point, I wanted to stop... around March or April, things were beginning to get serious and I don't appreciate people all in my business, what was the point? I asked Jesus, why should I continue? This makes no sense... By May, I was considering cutting it short and continuing at a much later time(which might never come) but God confirmed that He was the one who asked me to do so. Why am I saying all this? I did not write all the things I wrote just for the fun of it, just because I love telling people about me, that was not the intent, I wrote it because He asked me to so I hope that even more than my words could convey, you were able to get the message He wanted to pass across to you, my experiences are peculiar to me just like yours are to...

I had just finished writing a major paper: my second to the last examination paper, gotten my mum a book by T.D Jakes which I knew she would enjoy when I received this.  I had just gotten her a book I knew she would really like and then this? This message comes in?  I was amazed, she couldn't possibly be serious; I tried to play it cool at first... incase it was true so it wouldn't look like I was uninformed.  You see, this person was from the church I used attend at home and at times, they call me Peace because that is my name. I then proceeded to call my mum thereafter and I got no reply on her end, later, I called my dad and he said she wasn't around now, I found it strange because it was late in the evening and if she was going anywhere, she would go with him or he would mention where she went to.  Still on the search for answers, I called my elder brother and asked him if my mom was preparing for school because she loved school so much, h...

I matriculated this month and because I could not afford to make my hair, styled my hair myself in the morning before leaving, my mum really wanted to come for my matriculation but somehow fell sick so my elder ones came instead.  Matriculation connotes something of joy to people but I wasn't really happy, I felt shame and at the same time, I did not post anything because I wanted to keep my life private however, I posted a picture due to my hair, I wanted people to see the beauty but unfortunately, I had not taken any picture without the cap and gown for my hair. The picture I posted👇 This is a spillover for you. 🥰 Despite all this, this was a very depressing month for me, I was going through a lot of things and not talking to anyone about it, it messed up with me a lot, and at times, messed up with my relationship with people. I was reading something into what was not. I had days where I would cry endlessly and it always transited into other ...