The Beginning || The Breaking

 It was a new environment, I did not think it was going to last for a long time because I did not buy into it, I did not like it, I was just coming from another environment which I really fancied and due to a mistake I made, I had to switch schools. I could not believe it.

Again, I did not think I was going to stay there for long, but I tried to do what I could little did I know that I would be staying for quite sometime and what's more? This environment would shake up a lot of things for me.

I am someone who prides myself on being strong, I was once weak and was insulted, used for it so I hardened myself and moved with that for a period of time. I learnt to smile even when I didn't feel like it, I learnt all the more how to bottle up how I felt and always turned to my book to pen down how I felt from time to time in form of poetry.

I was not going to allow anyone to break me and seeing how I was not someone who was given to tears anymore, I did not have an issue but that all changed in the year 2021, it was as though a band aid was ripped and I could not understand it. 

I could not understand why I was crying every week, why certain things seemed short-lived, I knew how to smile and smiled. I also wrote on my WhatsApp status from time to time, I was going through a season. A breaking and threshing season but I did not like it. 

I knew God was present with me, I was really grateful to Him for being there and I understood His intentionality and love. I understood, I did but then, I won't claim to have understood all that went down. I will not.

I met people in this new environment, I made friends who stretched me in various ways, I began journalling consistently because that was what I knew how to do well at the time. 

I talked to God a lot in the year 2021 too, talked and cried to Him.

I am grateful for that year. This will be a series most likely so stay tuned to the next update to know what really went down and how I was able to stay sane all through the year.

Arrivederci. 🤞

~ Omokhuwa.