Skip to main content

A LETTER TO MY LORD AND SAVIOUR



This would be a public letter to my saviour.

Hello Jesus, 
Recently, you began speaking to me about returning back to a place of deep intimacy and relationship, a place of returning to my first love. I must admit I have fought this a lot, not because I didn't want to return but because I wanted to save you from me. 

My heart is filled with so much that is not of you, its desires has not been about you lately, it has not revolved around your desires, it has not sought you the way it should, it has turned away and it's a far cry from what it should be so I seek to protect you from this, I understand that love is all encompassing but it seems that I am only beginning to understand how much it covers, how much your love covers my inadequacies.

I love you. I do love you, ironical as it may seem. I just don't know how much my heart can take, how much of me I must surrender repeatedly to make you smile, there is a saying that you love me just as I am but I do not know, I don't know if I want to give you myself as I am, however,  I have no choice now.

There is a lot to be done and turns out I cannot do them without returning back to you as my first love, without dedicating and devoting all of me to you once more, my heart is weary, it is tired and my mind continually questions the logicality of your decision. I am not a strong person as the case may be, so why would you choose to place me in certain places. You know me more than any other person does, you know me even more than I know myself so why? Why would you do so, Jesus? I have tried myself, I have looked at the facts and it doesn’t make sense. Yes, there are certain high moments but the fall is most certainly more than the rise so why?

Who can understand your ways, Lord? Who can know your thoughts? I see in part so I speak also in part, there were things you said in time past that made no sense then but 18-36 months later, they do. I will choose to believe the same even in this, it might not make sense now but eventually it will therefore, I will trust in your will and move according to your dealings, I will consistently lay my heart bare before you.

I am here now, returning to my first love. Take me back to the place when all we did was laugh, play and dance around. Take me back to a place where all I do is a function of you, where all I say and my feet steps is a function of love. Where my every dictates stems from the place of your love, a place of refreshing, a place of fullness and wholeness.

I love you, o Lord my God, always and forever. Always!

And I shall love the Lord my God with all my heart, and with all my soul(life), and with all my mind (thought, understanding), and with all my strength. 


~ Omokhuwa. 

Comments

  1. Anonymous7 March 2023 at 17:47

    Came back to this today, for the third time, I think.

    My hands are aching to rewrite this letter to Jesus. Probably then He'll listen. I mean, He should want to.

    Thank you Khu💜

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Omokhuwa16 March 2023 at 15:48

      I have come back to this numerously as well. I am rooting for you to write to him as soon as possible.

      His grace is made perfect in your weakness, friend.

      Thank you too!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

April 2021 - All Hail Omokhuwa: the Hair stylist || The Breaking

I matriculated this month and because I could not afford to make my hair, styled my hair myself in the morning before leaving, my mum really wanted to come for my matriculation but somehow fell sick so my elder ones came instead.  Matriculation connotes something of joy to people but I wasn't really happy, I felt shame and at the same time, I did not post anything because I wanted to keep my life private however, I posted a picture due to my hair, I wanted people to see the beauty but unfortunately, I had not taken any picture without the cap and gown for my hair. The picture I posted👇 This is a spillover for you. 🥰 Despite all this, this was a very depressing month for me, I was going through a lot of things and not talking to anyone about it, it messed up with me a lot, and at times, messed up with my relationship with people. I was reading something into what was not. I had days where I would cry endlessly and it always transited into other ...
2 comments
Read more

February 2021: I have to leave Landmark University! || The Breaking

I had mixed feelings about being in LMU, people would see me as my brother's sister, those who were keen on the information and I would just be Elisha's sister, in a sense to them. A good name makes way, yes but we went to the same secondary school as well.  I had some assignments God had given to me before now as well which was to be online, I had also started a #learndailychallenge on twitter and without a gadget, it seemed I would not be able to do them till much later, I did not mind not having a phone, I just did not know how things will work out.                                         *** Although it was a time of bliss for the two weeks I stayed, I was in pain at certain periods of time in that first week and when I felt overwhelmed, I either laid on my bed and cried or went to the bathroom. I was tired, this was the second university I would be in. The next week, I went to t...
6 comments
Read more

A New Year Push

Happy New Year! 🎊 It's a new year and I am quite sure some of us have written our new year resolutions forgetting the one we wrote last year, 2021, that we could not accomplish. For some people, t hey are still working on their new year plans while some others have decided that New year resolutions are nothing and so they will not plan. A new year means different things to people. For me, a new year means starting a blog.. a new phase of taking my writing to an even larger audience, Jesus advised me to by the Holy Spirit. So, if anything, we have him to thank for this.  I am Omokhuwa, Omokhuwa is an Edo name and it means Child is wealth. I am basically telling you that I am wealth seeing as I am a Child. I am a writer, a student, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a teacher, an influencer and Jesus's Bride amongst other things. Once again, It is  a new year and this new year will come with prophecies as with previous years, prophecies that if not built on, will remain only in a ...
8 comments
Read more