Omokhuwa

Recently, my mind has been a haze. I have felt the need to rein in my thoughts, my feelings, my pain from those who care about me. It seems like I thought that sharing these things would make me seem emotional and like an overthinker of sorts. I feel the need to do a bit of cut and join with those around me and it's not to be so. So we meet, laugh and play together and then when I'm alone, I am back to wondering how things will go. I am left to my thoughts, these thoughts that plague me constantly and this should be the same for many others.  Who has placed these standards for perfection? How many times have I spoken to my friends about surface things as well when there is so much going on with them? This is why people say we should pray for our friends often but I wonder how much fuller and richer our relationships will be if we communicate openly more, there does not need to be a guarantee that a solution will be provided. If only we just talk. If only we just open ou...

On what template should growth be measured? Error seeps in at times even with those well meaning in the body of Christ. There are a lot of ways in which growth is communicated, ways that in more ways than one cause segregation. Ways that make you seem greater and the other lesser but who categorises those who are greater or lesser in this kingdom? Jesus. Jesus who said the first will be the last and last first. I do not have any theological explanation for this nor do I require that you write me one. It is a call for you to search your heart. How many times have we(me inclusive) all presented a greater version of ourselves in order to seem perfect? Doesn’t this kill? Putting sins in categories with one being higher than the other. Sex or anything affiliated with it is often regarded as shameful but something like not listening to God is talked of more because it is “normal.” It will not be rejected. Who made this laws? Who set these rules? Who places categories? If we...

On the 8th of March 2023, International Women’s day, I watched a talk on Netflix by Brene Brown titled: “ The Call to Courage.” While listening to all she had to say, I realised that I had an issue with commitment. I was committed to certain things but not fully. I was committed to God but not fully. True, I trusted what He had said and certain things in scripture but I realised that at almost every point in time, I had tried to use logic to explain most of what He had told me. Even personal promises that I had written down. I realised then that I was running from fully committing to God should something happen and He fails. Yes, I know the word of the Lord is true and if He said it, He will do it. You know, I really believe His words in people’s lives. Sometimes, I could even be the one communicating that word to a person or group of people. I just wasn’t sure of His word in my life and if I should really hold onto it, really hold onto His personal promises to me. One thi...

It’s been a minute.  How have you been?  How has your life been? Have you been taking steps to be better everyday? If yes, how has it been? If No, why? When are you going to start? Think on these things, my friends. While you are thinking on that, I thought to share how I have been doing and what’s been up with me lately; Recently, I began listening to NF. Even right now, I am listening to Hope by NF. A very wholesome music.  I had been thinking of the rawness of some of my writeups prior to learning of him and the songs he wrote. He is very bold and open about what is going on with him in a sort of dark way yet it communicates life. Listening to some of his songs inspired me to keep on writing about my feelings. Why do all this? I do not fully understand but writing is an outlet for me. A very good outlet for a lot of things. In a sense, I also hope to communicate life, to communicate my feelings and encourage those going through the same things. What’s the p...

For thine O Lord art a shield for me.  The glory and the lifter up of my head. Thank you for access, God. Thank you for strength. Thank you for ease. Thank you for grace. Thank you God for loving me and choosing me as I am. Thank you so much for everything. I do not know what to write, I have gotten to this part a lot and erased things I have written before now because I do not feel the sincerity in them.  Do I know what to write now? No. A few things to watch out for however;  • Be emotionally intelligent, mind your emotions. Feel your feelings but don’t let them overwhelm or overpower you. • Take care of yourself and accept love in its purest form. • Life is spiritual. Very. Don’t take everything lightly. • Know God for yourself. Don’t seek Him from others. • Love God earnestly and you will understand what it means to fear Him. • The Bible says the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. It also says perfect love casts out all fear. Both statements are true....

I miss my mother. I miss what she represented even though I see some of them through me and in me. I miss my first love and it’s as though I am ever returning to him, it’s a continuous process. When will I learn? When will I fully return? I stopped doing some things He asked me to and felt good about it till temptation arose again, I didn’t succumb but then I fully understood that the arm of flesh is weak and will fail. I also understood the statement that He hasn’t given us more than we can handle. Who can stand in the hill of the Lord or who can stand in His holy place? He that has clean hands and a pure heart. What connotes one to be pure? What represents this things?  Does being with Him and trusting in Him make me pure? Am I pure because I constantly behold Him and seek His ways? What exactly makes one pure. What exactly connotes purity? That we may know you. To have clean hands does not come by my works, it doesn’t come by what I can or cannot do. It comes only by...

I cried today. I do not seem to have words to articulate myself fully. It seems to be the same cycle once more, I am unsure of my faith and my stand with you.  Right now, I would rather evade this writeup, I would rather speak of the happenings going on in the environment and what needs to be done by believers. Necessity is laid upon me however to be bare so I will do just that, I will be bare. I feel weak, tired and I do not feel like doing so much. I am moving without life in me and doing just want needs to be done, in a disconnected manner, there seems to be no joy. A repetition, that is what it all seems like. Right now, I feel sleepy but there is a lot to do. Help me please. Thank you.